Tuesday, July 3, 2012


Welcome to my very first post in my new blog! I just finished the "me and my family" section so feel free to hop over there to learn more about us! I mention the reasoning behind this blog there, but I'll recap here as well. I have been with my wonderful boyfriend and his precious little boy for 3 years now and we will be married soon. Dating and marrying someone with children isn't like any other "typical" relationship and there are many struggles (and rewards!) that come along with it. Last weekend was a big struggle for me and I went searching for support because I know I'm not the only one! I was disappointed in the lack of blogs I found from stepmoms (or I'm just not very good at finding them) and decided I would try to start my own.

My goal here is to share stories and experiences and the things I've learned throughout this journey of loving and accepting a child as my own who already has a mommy. Through sharing these things, I hope to help others who are going through the same things and allowing a place for people to share their own experiences as well. I really would like this to be a place where we can support one another because unless you have gone through it, no one else can truly understand what it's like.

Also, I understand that everyone's circumstances are slightly different. Josh and Brayden's mom were very young when he was born, they were never married, and they were only together a short time after that. I met Brayden when he was 3 so I think this is a huge plus (for me) that he is essentially growing up with me already in his life. He doesn't remember his parents ever being together (which I think is also good for him as far as an adjustment period goes, and not remembering the fighting either) and therefore I hope won't go through the resentment of separated parents like older kids do when divorce happens when they are older. I know that can be a huge struggle for kids wanting their parents to get back together, but Brayden never knew that. I also do wonder how that will effect him one day. Now that he's in school when he realizes kids do have parents who stay together. I guess time will tell! I have officially known Brayden for half of his life and that definitely helps me in my own struggles. I imagine it would be much harder if he was older.

Even though I see that as a benefit, it doesn't prevent my own personal struggles with the situation. Especially since I don't have kids of my own (yet). It's really hard to love a child as your own but at the end of the day you know he has a mommy (who I would never want to take the place of) and while you are a "mom" to him half the time and love him so much, you aren't his mom. Like I said, I think this is because I don't have children of my own and I so badly want to be a mom. We'll see if that changes or not when I actually do have children though. Maybe it won't because I know my love for him won't change.

I have lots of things to post about but I will leave this for now as my first post. My head is full of thoughts and theories I'd like to share and stories as well. Thanks for stopping by!